Talking to Dead People

"Can I talk to Grandma if she's not dead?" - Sophie's question while Mommy was on the phone with Grandma (a couple weeks after Sophie's great-grandma passed away)

Clown Shaped Churches

"It doesn't look like a clown to me. It doesn't have a nose." - Sophie's response after hearing Mommy point out a church in the shape of a "crown"

Laundry Sexism

"Daddy, it's funny when you do laundry because you're not supposed to do it. Only Mommy is." -a recent astute (and obviously spot on) assessment of Elijah's

My Scara?

"Is that your scara or my scara?" - Sophie's question after finding out the black stuff on Mommy's eyes was called "mascara"

Sentenced to Jail and a Spanking

"Mommy, I'm going to spank you and then put you in jail." -Sophie's repeated threat from her room after being put in time out one morning

Why Mommy Say Cheese?

"Why Mommy Say Cheese?" -Elijah's question in the van after Ruth Anna's emphatic "GEEZ!!" in response to a vehicle driving unbearably slow in front of her

Compost & Lizard Tails

"If we put compost on the lizard, will it help his tail back grow quicker?" -Elijah's conversation with Mommy about lizard tails growing back

This Is How Mommy Slams My Door When She's Mad

"This is how Mommy slams my door when she's mad." -Elijah's thoughtful demonstration for his Omi (grandmother)

Nose Bone Obedience

"Dad, do I have a bone in my nose?" -Elijah's response after speaking to him one-on-one for 5 min (3 hours in toddler time) about the importance of obeying Mommy and Daddy

Heaven

"I want to come to heaven with you and Mommy" -Elijah (age 3)